Today is the 4th anniversary of what is inarguably the worst day in the life of over 1,000,000 people. I still haven’t “come to terms” with it, which is why I never want to hear about it from family and friends.

It’s so hard to go home to see that it’s not the beautiful place I grew up in and remember. As Harry Connick Junior said “New Orleans is my essence, my soul, my muse, and I can only dream that one day she will recapture her glory.”

I don’t have much else to say without crying on my keyboard, so I’ll let Cowboy Mouth speak for me with their song, “The Avenue”

water
broke past the levee
my heart
beats hard and heavy
there’s so much more to say
but I'm Silent
for now

i'm lost deep
in the emotions
that hit me
just like an ocean
that seemed to refreshing once
but its not
for now

because the marching bands will roll
ill find my city in my soul
because i plan on growing old
on the avenue

my best friend’s house
lies beneath the teardrops
god has bequeathed
to add to the pool of rage
that i float for now

i never thought i would see in my lifetime
my memory
but fate has a way to show
who's the boss
for now

because the marching bands will roll
ill find my city in my soul
because i plan on growing old
on the avenue

and the parades will ride again
ill see my family and my friends
because this cannot be the end
of the avenue

its so hard to take this hurt
and hide it on a shelf
its just cause i never
want to be from somewhere else

deep in my darkest hour
standing alone in the shower
i let my emotions go
for now

because the marching bands will roll
ill find my city in my soul
because i plan on growing old
on the avenue

and the parades will ride again
ill see my family and my friends
because this will not be the end of the avenue

and yes the marching bands will roll
ill find my city in my soul
because there’s nowhere else to go but
the avenue

9 days! 9 days! OMG! I can't wait!

Holy shit!! I'm getting married in 20 days!! I'm so excited!

Not so excited about the homeless lady next to me on the bus

So, I've been having kitchen adventures lately. If you know me, you probably know my grandmother and can guess that I have the baking gene. I can make the most delicious chocolate chip cookies ever. Same goes for ginger snaps and ginger bread people. Of course, that didn't hold true last week. I baked 2 dozen choco chip cookies. Not sure what happened, I think it was a brown sugar issue, but they were SO salty. But Dave ate all of them. He loved them.

But anyways, I can also doctor up a boxed dinner OK. But never done much from scratch. Well, I found this website: cheaphealthygood.blogspot.com It's way awesome. Dave is the one who does most of the cooking, but I have made white chicken chili (couldn't eat it b/c there were WAY too many peppers). I'll do it again minus the jalepeños and it should be excellent. This morning I did buttermilk pancakes and HOLY CRAP they're good. And Dave bought some raspberry syrup last time he was at marshalls and that made it even better.

Anyways, I hope this continues. I like that Dave cooks since I'm so short on free time, especially at night. But you know, once I'm out of school and all that, I'd like to do more than just laundry haha.

1) apply for 2 pt time jobs this semester
2) apply for at least 3 internships for the summer
3) new ab workout twice
4) 30 min on elliptical twice
5) finish all readings for next week by 4:00 PM tomorrow when I go to work on Sunday
6) finish all writing assignments for next week by the time I go to work on Friday class starts on Monday (since none are due until Thursday now)
7) Meet w/ Dr Walti for policy process assignment

I can do it! I'm trying REALLY hard to get organized and get in shape and this is part of it.

OK, so drama is the wrong word for it. And someone I know posted via her facebook status that she was fed up with all the media coverage.

True, it is a little sickening, but on the "bright side" maybe now battered women out there will see that it ISN'T their fault. They DON'T deserve this.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/TV/03/11/lkl.robin.givens.transcript/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/03/05/chris.brown.charged/index.html?iref=newssearch

The first article is excerpts from a Larry King interview with a guest host and Robin Givens (Mike Tyson's ex-wife) and Denise Brown (Nicole Brown Simpson's sister).

The second is excerpts from the affidavit

In the first article, Givens talks about how so many people have said that they share the same story. I know her story. While I was struck only once physically, I was emotionally abused for years, so it turns out. It starts out small and you get accustomed to it and just keep letting it happen, little by little until you think it's OK that he insults you every day. Calls you stupid and belittles your education because well, you have a vagina and your high school doesn't have 50 million national merit scholars every year and then you chose to go to a liberal arts school instead of a service academy or ivy league. it keeps growing until he decides you're fat at 135 lbs (because you were 105 when you were 13 and started dating). He tells you that your friend who looks like a drug addict because she's so thin is the perfect woman and has the perfect ass. He refuses to actually work on the problem and then snaps. He decides that the anorexic friend is his kinda woman and then does everything to end your relationship, including detailing how he will end your life. Because he's mentally unbalanced and likes the idea of torture. And then when you finally leave and he sees that he doesn't control you anymore, he says that he was just testing you and you must not have really loved him ever. Because you would have stayed if you loved him. Because the hours of begging to work on it and the days spent crying and the hours in counseling obviously didn't count. And then he'll let you know that you're damaged goods and no one will ever want you because you weigh in at 130 now and you're getting divorced.

We all know the happy ending to my story, though. I have some of the best friends in the world, both back home and up here who supported me and let me cry and gave me a place to crash until I was on my feet in DC. And then I met someone who is a real man. He has never laid a finger on me, except to swat my butt as I walk by. He never insults me. We have real conversations about things. I'm "allowed" to be who I am. We don't see eye to eye, but I'm not an idiot for it and neither is he. I don't know everything, but I'm not afraid to ask anymore, be it about sports or some stupid cooking question or anything. Our every day banter is lighthearted and while we poke fun, it's never meant to harm or chip away at my self esteem. He actually wants me to succeed in school and in my career...but maybe that's just so he can retire early and play golf every day. And now, we're getting married in less than 3 months. Hooray!

Secondly, this article also mentions how some people are accusing Rihanna of provoking Chris Brown. I'm sorry, but what?? She thought he was cheating, saw some evidence in his phone and confronted him. That's not provoking! Should women just turn a blind eye on a cheating boyfriend or spouse because he might hit us if we have a problem with it?? Or, he could just call you crazy up until the day he marries her.

Seriously, if you know someone who is abused or you think is in a bad relationship, take this opportunity to talk to them. It's not your fault that he's subhuman (or she is...men get knocked around, too...Titus season 2, episode 9 "The Last Noelle" makes it funny). Really pretty please, talk to your friends. No one deserves that kind of life.

She said no one ever updates...

School is OK. I took my only midterm yesterday. I think I did really well, but I won't find out for 2 weeks. Spring break is next week!! yippee!!

Mom is coming in on Friday night and we're going down to Hampton for a gigantic wedding planning weekend. And the moms will meet. I can't wait. We're back and forth on a lot of stuff so no details at the moment.

Working at Banana still. If you want a 30% off give and get coupon, send me your email address. You can use it at Gap, BR and Old Navy, plus outlets and once online (included piper lime shoes!). Our spring line is SO awesome.

Ok, I have a memo to write. Adios!

So, I was walking the oh, I dunno, 100 feet from the Tenley Town metro to the AU shuttle bus to go to school today. And I lost my balance or tripped over myself or something. I could feel myself going down...like I was about to fall while running down a hill...and so I fell. Luckily my J Crew tote caught me so I only fucked up my knee. Sadly, my macbook was in it. It still works since I'm on it at the moment, but when I wake it up, the cd drive goes crazy. So, I have a genius bar appointment today since the casing is popping up above the drive.

Ok, bed time. Pray for my beautiful white apple baby!

Hey peeps!

Wedding plans are coming along. June 6, Hampton, VA. We decided to do the whole shebang at his mom's to keep it simple and keep our guest list in check. We've capped it at about 100. I'm ordering my dress as soon as I get my big ass tax refund. And Dave's suit and the groomsmens suits (they're coming from BR, my dress and my girls' dresses are from J Crew). I'm ordering the suits b/c I get them 50% off.

I'm SO ready to get married. And I know it sounds so stupid and so cliche, but I really do love him more and more each day. Admittedly, things haven't been perfect lately, but we've taken everything in stride and he's been so amazing. And you know, we actually TALK things out. Yeah, I'm crazy and I'll raise my voice, but then, we can have a conversation about whatever it is and actually take care of whatever is going on. Or, we just look at steve and laugh at him laying on his back like a slut. That actually provides hours of entertainment.

So, speaking of taxes...I had to file with the incorrect birthday (per the IRS's recommendation). I filed and it got rejected b/c apparently SSA has my bday as 12/8/59. I'm a total cougar! No wonder I get along so well with my future mother-in-law! So, Mr. IRS agent I spoke with said to file with the 59 bday and then contact SSA after I get my refund. Yes, I got his name and ID number in case something happens.

Well, I need to stop procrastinating on this really short easy paper I have to do today....

Seriously, what is up with the Republicans who want to move to Canada????? They already have the policies that make these crackheads want to leave the US in the first place.

Please let Palin fall off the face of the earth. No one needs that whackadoo running around in charge of anything bigger than Alaska. I'm sorry, I don't need her telling me what to do with my body, just on principle.

I have so much more to say, but I don't want to piss off the republicans I like that read this, so have a great day everyone! I know I am!

Tonight. Yankees Red Sox! We're there!

fuck the bosox!!! We're up by 3.5 games! hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!! The red sox nation can kiss my tiny white ass.

Hey everyone,

Happy Monday! Had an a-mazing weekend. Dave and I played mini golf on Saturday in SW. I was ahead by 2 strokes until he told me, and then I fell apart. After that we hit up the driving range. I'm HORRIBLE. I told him I'd really like lessons for my birthday present. Or Christmas since in the spring I'll probably interning part time and not working maybe and might have time. Either way, I really want to learn. And I want my own set of clubs and a pink bag. Saturday he remarked "when we have a house, we're going to have a huge yard and a putting green" I'm cool with that. We went on a real dinner date Sat night...I even got a new dress from Express. I looked AWESOME! haha. We went to Mackey's after and the guys were highly impressed. In the end, Dave had to stand up for me when an asshole who doesn't like Dave (and has no valid reason to not like him) was making a bet about whether or not I'd talk to his friend. It was great to see him call this guy out and tell him to stop. My boyfriend stands up for me! Yay!!

Yesterday we just hung out and then went back to Mackey's b/c he wanted to see the Mets game. but it wasn't on. So we watch the Rays lose to the Astros (Boooo!) and left at the top of the 12th of the Boston/STL game. Went and saw Get Smart. HUGE FAN! Go see it!

So, apparently my ex husband or his new bride is repeatedly checking my myspace. And I wouldn't be surprised if she reads this too when I don't f-lock it. Seriously guys, move on. I'm sure it's obvious to you that I have.

So, now that that's out of the way, I'm going home home after work today to do some laundry and then move some stuff over the apartment so that way when we get the new place, the only that needs to be moved will be furniture. Everything else can just be carried over from the apartment now. This is how Dave puts it "why don't you start moving your stuff over here. Like your DVDs" haha! Love him. Ok, it's almost lunch time. Adios kids!

see more pwn and owned pictures

Amazing